we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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