I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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