we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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