Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
