His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
