butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
