Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
