Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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