I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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