i permit you to call me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize