I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize