david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
