Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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