i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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