Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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