It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
