He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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