you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
