I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
