Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
