yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
