My cat gives me a boner
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
