We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
