You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
