Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
