We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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