friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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