This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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