I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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