Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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