check it out our google latitudes are spooning
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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