toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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