Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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