Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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