Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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