I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
