I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
third nipple confirmed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
