i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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