tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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