god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
