girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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