i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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