whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
