Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
