So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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