So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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