Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
