Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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