Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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