The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
