i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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