All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
