Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
