they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
