I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
