i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
